Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Has the whole world gone nuts, or is it just Yahoo Groups?

On the advice of counsel, I'd like to mention that what you are about to read is fictional. Any similarities to actual events or persons, either living or dead, is purely coincidental. The characters mentioned are composites only, and in no way represent actual individuals. All in good fun, folks. If you don't understand this post, you've never belonged to a Yahoo group. At least not a Vietnam one.


New Recipe Exchange Yahoo Group

This group is for all in the recipe community. We're here to learn from each other and support each other as we go through the baking process together. WELCOME to the group!!

Member #1: I just found the most awesome brownie recipe. These really are the best brownies ever!!
Member #2: How do you know these are the best brownies ever? Have you tried every brownie recipe out there? Are you a brownie expert? Isn't it a little irresponsible of you to come here with unsubstantiated RUMOR? Who the heck do you think you are anyway, trying to tell all of us how to do it? Most of us have been here for years. Why don't you just crawl back under the cake pan you came from and take your #$%* brownies with you!
Memmer #3: To bad how sum peeple seem to foget that I alreudy posted the best brounie recippy ever last moth, in post #5(3, and if you well recal I wus alreudy warning everwon at that time about this knew, dangrous trand of adding pecans instedd of walnuts, which I see the first comentator has don in her sposed "awesome" recippy. Az I sed meny times, tis is only going to cauze probelms for ever other brounie baker out their. How can you jussify your thoughtles, selfish axtions?
Member #1: I'm deeply sorry if I've offended anyone with my brownie recipe. That was certainly not my intention. I had no idea my addition of pecans would be considered selfish. If someone could explain to me exactly how pecans are selfish, I would love to hear it. I mean really, I would. I thought I had finally found a place where I could share my recipes in a mature environment, but I guess not. I do have a great cookie recipe to share. If anyone's interested, you can just email me privately and I'll be happy to give you the recipe.
Member #2: HYPOCRITE! First it's brownies and now it's cookies... Funny how easy it is for you to switch back and forth as it suits your purposes! After you've already benefitted from the brownies, now you're going to cram cookies down our throats? Where are your ethics? And I see you don't have the guts to post your cookie recipe on the list. What do you have to hide? Hmmm? Right now, I feel like going WWE on your buttocks. People like you really make me sick. You are what's wrong in the baking world today.
Member #4: Hi! I'm new to this group. I'm so happy to be here. How many members are in this group? I've been baking for years but I'm looking forward to learning new things from all of you!! Hey, if anyone has trouble with burning themselves while baking, I know of a great burn ointment.
Mamber #3: Whut we need two due is regalate the hole prosess. I sed that all alonge.
Member #4: I'm sorry I don't understand what you mean. Regulate what whole process? Can you please explain? Is it possible you meant to reply to someone else's comment? I just joined this group.
Mumble #3: I downt haf to explane enything to you. My commets wer takun strate frum the govermets websit. Go reed it youself.
Member #2: We don't discuss burn ointments here. This is not the proper forum for that. You'll have to start a new group specifically for burn ointments. Where the heck is the moderator?
Member #5: Has it ever occured to any of you people that some of us have allergies to nuts? I'm so sick of the blatant discrimination that goes on here. Do you really think you should be flaunting the fact that you can eat nuts while some of us are suffering without them? Did it ever occur to you that I would love to eat a #*$& pecan or a walnut, but I can't? Besides, my neighbor has a sister who is a professional baker and she said her assistant heard from someone who dated a guy who would know that nuts may or may not cause something bad to happen sometime in the near to distant future, so there. Those are the FACTS! So, enjoy your nuts, folks. You know, it's really sad- I joined this group because I thought there would be recipes for people like me, but I can see there's not. So, please cancel my membership to this group.
Member #1: I wish we could stick to recipes. Wouldn't we all get along better if we stayed on topic?
Member #2: This list is open to all topics except burn ointment. Everyone's opinions are welcome here, so shutup. No one wants to hear what you think.
Nember #3: Yess. Thas esattly whut I wus sawing. You prooved my poit.
Member #2: I've started a petition to get members #1 and #4 banned from this group. It's at www dot shut them the blank up dot com. Please come sign it. Together we can do some good.
Menber #3: Fourty Seven.

Mombar #3: I tortaly agee wih you. Exselent poit. Thayk you for sush an insighfull post! I downt no how yoo due it, butt you say tings so mush cleerer than I ken. Thanc yue!
Member #2: Which post are you agreeing with? And what is "Fourty Seven?" Why can't people on this list ever hit the reply button when replying to messages, instead of the post button? Is that asking for too much? And while we're at it, is it too difficult to trim your replies? All I'm asking for is a little common courtesy.



Seems kind of silly, doesn't it? Good thing stuff like this never happens in real life. That would be crazy.

28 comments:

Heather & David said...

Wow... talk about hitting the nail on the head... while I was lauging hysterically, I was also thinking, "how true". Those conversations are such a waste of time. I got caught in the trap once, and quickly cut myself out of the conversation. It is a bad time to be on a yahoo group. There hasn't been any information that has been helpful enough to read all that bickering. And if I hear the words, "with all due respect" followed by a slap in the face again.... what is respectful about that?

Alice said...

LOL! After the last big flare up on APV, I was really tempted to just post "I have a headache from all this bickering" as a reply. :) Of course, that would have been OT. :)

Elaine said...

LOL!!!!!! That is one of the big reasons I never comment on any of those boards and only sometimes bother reading the digests!

Jena said...

This is seriously funny

LaLa said...

Hey..don't forget to sign your post with all your info! LOL love this but unfortunately it is so true

Anne & Grant said...

This is insanely funny!!! You totally captured the craziness of the Yahoo groups. My favorite part was the person who misspells everything (one of my biggest annoyances) and the 'www dot shut them the blank up dot com' petition. Genius, simply genius. HA!

Christy said...

Too funny. Loved it.

char said...

Thanks for that look at how crazy is gets on those groups sometimes. I know you're reading the same one I've been reading lately. I just want to post "Holy Frap, cut it out!" on that one right now. I've been trying to reply to the "normal" ones so that maybe people will let it go...

Laurie said...

Ok, just pissed my pants reading this!! That's freaking hilarious, and it couldn't be more right on! Hahaha!

Angel said...

THIS IS SOOOO HILARIOUS! Can I please PLEASE steal it to post on my blog?? I'll give you credit of course. I was laughing so hard.:0) Angel angel weir @gmail .com

Christina said...

Well, personally, with all due respect, I hate pecans and walnuts in my brownies. LOL. :-)
Love the analogy. Amazing what people will say to each other on a list that they'd never say in person!!

Cris and Em said...

hee heee heeeee heeeee. that's so stinkin' funny.

Rebecca said...

So true--So true--I am so very sorry to say that is SO TRUE!!! I sometimes just read the yahoo groups and shake my head!!! You know you really should write a book!!


P.S. I did see that you tagged me and I will do it tomorrw ; )

The Adoption Of William said...

So very true. All my groups are like this. This is why I do not post on them. No matter what you say, someone will have to tell you why you are wrong and they are right, the next person attacks them and so on and so on...cat fight one the internet. Very cute!!


Love and Blessings,

Jen-William's Mom

Lina said...

Hi! I just found your blog. TOO FUNNY! You MUST belong to the same group(s) I do. LOL!

Lina

dimeadozen said...

YOU SHOULD WRITE A BOOK! Now where have I heard that before?

Only a few people can take something NOT funny, and make something funny out of it, and
ewe iz won of 'em

Mer (Lulu's Mommy) said...

that is seriously hysterical.

Shelby said...

You might be the funniest person EVER. I hope it's ok but I've linked and actually copied (I'm scared some people wouldn't click through and EVERYONE should read this) your post. Crazy funny. Thank you!

Michelle said...

OMG, too funny! Thanks for the laugh!

Kathy said...

Love it, love it, love it! That was a perfect parody of what the groups are like. You should win an award for that post. And thanks for including a member that can't spell a single word correctly. Like Anne, that is one of my pet peeves.

Alana said...

you are famous..I too have copied given credit and a link to your blog. That is the most accurate thing I have ever read..and take it from me I have been in that convo one too many times

diane said...

Oh that was very well done. Best laugh I've had all day.

Ana said...

Thank you Thank you Thank you.
I haven't laughed like that in a while...you captured the insanity of these Vietnam Yahoo Groups perfectly!

Mia's Mommy said...

THAT WAS AWESOME! This is why I've backed out of some of the VN adoption yahoo groups. It's truly insane! You did a great job! And I love the line about being allergic to nuts, and not everyone can eat nuts, hahahaa! I love it! You've got yourself a new reader!

Melissa

Audrey said...

That's hysterical! And so true!!! I ended up being hounded off of APV and your satire has really made me see the humor in the whole thing!

Anonymous said...

A good ending to this dialogue would be the inevitable ending to all these yahoo battles: A dramatic announcement that one is leaving the yahoo group b/c it violates "free speech rights" and insists the yahoo group owner "unsubscribe me, please." Then Member X posts elsewhereon the internet about how X got hounded off a yahoo group. Thus continuing the drama elsewhere. LOL.

Heidi said...

Hysterical! Hey, we're adopting a boy named Sam from Vietnam too! I'll add your blog to my bloglines.

Audrey said...

Anonymous,

Get a life!