Saturday, September 6, 2008

Observations of an Idiot

I'm done commenting on the political stuff- so if you're looking for that, go away. And if you're not, it's safe for you to come back. Wait- just one tiny thing, then I'm done. All I'm gonna say is: McCain really dropped the ball the other night. What a wasted opportunity. And not a speech for people with A.D.D., that's for sure. All they got out of it was "Boring, boring, wow he's really old, boring, he really is shockingly white, irritating voice, blibbity blah, boring, do we have popcorn, he's still talking, I wonder what's on TV Land." Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Truthfully, all I could think of during the speech was the happy dance Nicki was probably doing, in her little "I Heart (that other guy)" t shirt. You were doing a happy dance, weren't you, Nicki? I was embarrassed for the guy. And his wife. But you can find better commentary on their speeches all over the place, so I'm moving on. Still not voting for that other guy (He that shall not be named), though. OK- there. Now I'm done.

Today's post is better than politics. It's about the stuff that really makes this country great- deeply intellectual, important stuff, like TV. I always catch myself accidentally typing "TB." If one slips through, don't be confused. This post is not about TB. TB is something entirely different.

I have a love/hate relationship with "House." Does anybody else watch this ridiculous show? If you don't, this post won't make any sense. I think it's funny, but probably not for the reasons I'm supposed to. I'm not a die-hard fan, but I've seen it enough to know that it's one of the most implausible and predicable shows on TV. Every week is the same thing:

1. Dr. House and his team have a patient afflicted with some odd and mysterious malady.

2. Dr. House is supposed to be brilliant and you would think that after several seasons has pretty much seen it all, yet he never knows right off the bat what's wrong with the patient.

3. Dr. House and his team toss out various possibilities, which always include autoimmune, sarcoidosis, and cancer. Here's a hint to the House team: It is never autoimmune, sarcoidosis, or cancer! Don't you watch your own show? Stop guessing those things! Pick the least obvious, most rare and obscure thing you can think of and choose that first- like a tick bite. TWO patients have almost died now from a flippin' tick. Stop with the sarcoidosis already.

4. Dr. House and his team try every cure known to man for autoimmune, sarcoidosis and/or cancer, while continuing to test for other things, just in case they're wrong (since they are always wrong) and almost kill the patient in the process, which doesn't bother Dr. House in the least, because without the treatment, the patient is dead anyway... and besides, Dr. House hates this patient even more than he hated last week's patient.

5. Someone on Dr. House's team will go against his orders because they just know he's wrong. Dr. House will go against Cutty's orders because he knows she's wrong. Everyone goes behind everyone else's back, ordering tests and treatments, and using lots of big words. Someone is still convinced it's sarcoidosis.

6. Dr. House is allowed to berate, insult, and humiliate his patients mercilessly without consequence, because the poor guy is addicted to drugs and in pain and, heck, who isn't? So we should all understand. Besides, he's brilliant- he's got that tortured genius thing going on.

7. Dr. Cutty, dressed in a skirt that's too tight, and a blouse with one too many buttons undone for a woman in her professional position and just a tiny bit of bra peeking out, gets mad at Dr. House for almost killing the patient, all the while giving him looks that say, "Take me, big boy."

8. Dr. House will remain stumped until the last five minutes of the show, when a completely unrelated conversation with Wilson will cause him to suddenly figure out what's wrong with his patient. He will swoop in and save the day right as the patient is about to take his dying breath, leaving his team stupefied and in awe of his brilliance. No one ever seems to notice that if he were so freakin' brilliant, it wouldn't have taken a completely unrelated conversation with Wilson to make him suddenly figure out what's wrong with his patient.

9. The patient is so grateful for being alive that he doesn't sue the crap out of Dr. House or the hospital for performing countless wasted procedures, almost killing him, and treating him like dirt.

10. Dr. House limps out of the hospital at the end of the day alone with a little smirk on his face.

11. I sit and wonder for the umpteenth time why I am still watching this silly show.

If you've seen the show, I'm curious to know what you think. Somebody must think it's good because it keeps coming back for a new season. If you haven't seen it, why did you keep reading this post? How sad I am for you. You could have been watching TB.


rainbowmom said...

I personally can not stand that show. I know a lot of people love it, so I tried to watch three episodes, and I just can't do it. Can't stand it!

I agree with you about McCain. I actually didn't watch him, I went yesterday and watched it on a blog and I just wanted to bury my head in the sand...after I woke back up. snore. And his wife's statements about adoption...sigh.

Elaine said...

I've seen that show a total of, like, TWICE, and you totally summed up BOTH episodes. LOL! Wilson is the guy from Dead Poets' Society, right? I keep expecting him to refer to House as "Oh Captain My Captain".

S. said...

You are just way too funny! Loved the "take me big boy" lol so true.

And Elaine, I have the same thought...

Nicki said...

I've never seen House! Not sure I want to now! haha.

I swear I was not dancing. I was too busy trying to stay awake by distracting myself with iPhone games. lol. No one expected much - he isn't a speech giver. I doubt it hurt your dumb cause. lol ::kiss::

Tracy's corner said...

you got that show figured out! to funny

Heather said...

Ok... I will be the first one to admit that I watch it. I even go so far as to DVR it. Yes it is awful, yes it is predictable, but there is something about the pure evil and shock factor that keeps me coming back for more. There... I said it... I'm not a fan, but I am an addict. LOL