Are We Still Friends?

Well, I hope I didn't make everyone hate me after yesterday's post, but I make no apologies for who I am. Actually that's not true. I apologize all the time for who I am. One of the drawbacks to having little to no self confidence, apparently. Yes, I am a Bible-thumping, creation-believing, abortion-opposing, homeschooling, conservative Christian and... (Gasp!) a Republican (most of the time), who doesn't really enjoy politics and doesn't trust most politicians. BUT... I am also sooo many other things. I'm a bad dancer, for example. I'm fat. I'm a pretty darn good baker (which explains that whole fat thing). And a semi-professional ventriloquist. Okay, that one was a lie, but I'm trying to sound interesting here. I like long walks on the beach at sunset. Which makes living in the Midwest all the more unfortunate.

Anyway, I appreciated your comments yesterday, as always! I don't mind opinions that differ from my own and I trust most of you don't either. We all have our big girl panties on, right? If I expect you to agree with me, I will warn you in advance.

The big news for today is that Plan B has just become Plan A. Darrell and I have decided to fill out an application with a new agency and continue this adventure with a new program. Scary! But thrilling, too. I'm so excited, but trying to keep my feet on the ground at the same time. It's hard. No more details than that yet, though. I'm bursting at the seams to tell you all about it, but if I learned anything at all from our Vietnam experience it's not to shoot my mouth off so soon. Counting the chickens before they hatch, and all that. I promise I'll fill in the blanks when things start falling into place. There's going to be so much to do pretty soon- I'm sure we'll need a revised homestudy done, which will mean getting my house to that obsessive level of clean that drives my family crazy and makes me feel a little like a drill sergeant... in a fun way. We have to submit pictures of Darrell and I with our application, which will mean losing 35 pounds in about a week or so, and doing lots of test shots to see which poses camouflage most of my chins. I have to find out how to change the I171H. Frap. I don't know how to begin with that. It just expired, so it needs to be renewed, plus it needs to be changed to the new place. Do I just need to start over and get a new one? Alex is now 18, so he'll need to get fingerprinted, too. Frap again. Then there will be a new dossier to put together. Do I sound like I'm talking fast? Because I feel like I'm talking really, really fast... Oh.My.Gosh. I haven't been this happy for months. I'm so excited to be actively pursuing the path to our child again. The disappointment of Vietnam is certainly not going to go away anytime soon, but this is definitely renewing my sense of hope. Pray for me, though- it's obviously impossible not to get excited, even though I know I shouldn't. If this thing goes belly up too, I'm going to be devastated and you will be able to find me in a Baskin Robbins with my head buried in a 5 gallon bucket of ice cream.