Sunday, September 14, 2008

Getting a few things off my chest

And, no, that title is not a reference to my weight or breasticular regions.

Something's been going on in Bloggerville lately that has me fuming and thinking. So, I'm going to vent. If you don't want to hear a rant, this would be a good time to go grab a coke and come back in just a sec., when I probably will be referencing my weight and/or breasticular regions. You know me... I can't stay off those topics for long.

Anyhoo... Who knows what the word "blog" means? Here's the definition from

" online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page... Typically updated daily... blogs often reflect the personality of the author.
Etymology: shortened form of Weblog..." (emphasis added by me)

A blog is the blogger's place to say whatever that blogger wants to say. While I'm all for Free Speech, I do not believe a blog is a reader's place to say whatever they want to say. If you are reading a blog and you do not happen to like what the blogger has to say, you basically have two choices.
  1. Stop reading that blog and choose one more suitable to your tastes.
  2. Leave a snarky comment, either telling the blogger what they need to change about their blog to suit you, or criticizing their thoughts, feelings, beliefs, etc...
Oh, wait- there's a third choice, I guess. You can also go to another blog and talk about a blogger behind his or her back, leaving your venomous crap elsewhere.

Personally, I'm a big fan of choice #1. Numbers 2 and 3 not so much.

By now, some of you will know I'm referring to a specific incident, but for those who don't, I'm not going to link to the blog where this thing recently happened. Sorry to leave you in the dark, but- for one thing, the blogger has already taken the most offensive comments down, and for another thing- it was never her intention to invite people to attack others by name, she was just trying to do a little venting of her own and have a little bit of fun, and I know she feels bad about the horrible turn the whole thing took, so there's no need to draw additional attention to it. Besides, you don't need to see that crap firsthand for my point to still be valid.

My blog is my place. Period. And by "my," I'm speaking of course on behalf of any blogger, not just myself. I am inviting you into my thoughts and my life. If you accept my invitation by reading my posts, I believe a certain level of decorum and courtesy is expected on your part. I love, love, love your comments and welcome your input, even when it disagrees with mine, but I don't believe you have the right to tear me down in "my house." Or elsewhere around the internet, for that matter.

If I were to invite you into my real life, if you were sitting in my home, you would never dream of criticizing my choices of wallpaper, or how I discipline my kids, or how my husband and I interact. At least I hope not. You would politely sit and chat. You would "play nice," just as most of us were taught to do by our mamas. If you didn't enjoy our visit, you would decline my next invitation. Simple, right?

Why should the blog world be any different? If you don't like a blogger, you can easily choose to stop reading. Why is it necessary to carve her up (especially by name on another blog)?

There are times when reading a post will cause me to think, and I'll come back to my blog and write a post of my own (just as I'm doing now), but I do not believe I have the right to dump my nasty, negative opinions all over the comment section of someone else's blog.

Another thing- A blog is not your place to make requests. This is not a piano bar. If you think a blogger has a brain full of nothing but fluff, or her posts are too deep and not fluffy enough for your taste, her religion or politics irks you, or you just plain don't like her... I don't feel it's appropriate for you to suggest she make changes. If you were to *stumble across my personal diary, tucked away under my mattress, would you feel it was appropriate to make notes in the margins offering suggestions or making corrections?

Again, my blog is my place- my thoughts, my feelings, my beliefs, my house. Why should I change my life around to suit one (or one hundred) reader(s)? If you don't like it, you may leave. That's the great thing about the blogosphere- you are only one click away from leaving a place you don't like. You don't even have to think up a nice little white lie about why you need to leave or why you won't be able to return. Perfect. You just keep your mouth shut and move on.

And... (aw, geez- there's more)... If you absolutely must leave a negative comment on someone's blog, I do not believe it is appropriate to do it anonymously. Many bloggers allow anonymous comments, me included. BUT- if you've got the stones to be mean, then have the stones to sign your name. Take responsibility for what you say. Don't be a wuss. You're already hateful, why add "Gutless Pansy" to your list of negative qualities, too?

Lastly, this whole thing is none of my business and I've poked my nose into something that has nothing to do with me. Maybe that's wrong. I dunno. If it is, I apologize. I was not involved in the incident I was referring to above, and haven't been personally attacked or insulted. I argued with myself over whether or not I should even say anything, but I have an opinion about it, and this is my blog, so... there you go.

The ladies who've been catching the crap lately are more than capable of speaking up for themselves and really don't need any back up from this fat little House Frau. I guess it's just my nature to stick up for people who are being picked on. Can't help it. Besides, I like these women and think they're writing and their blogs are great and serve a useful purpose. There's just no good reason to be mean.

Of course, I realize that I'm probably spinning my wheels. Mean people either don't know they're mean, or they know it and don't care. They already know they should be nice, but they choose to be mean anyway. Telling them to be nice, like a mommy talking to a 3 year old, is probably a waste of time. Besides, I think I'm preaching to the choir here again anyway. You guys are not the ones who need to hear this. My readership is a pretty nice, well-behaved bunch, and I'm thankful for that. Oh well... I still needed to say it. Giving lectures on being nice is what moms do.

I said at the beginning of this post that I'd probably throw something in about my weight before the end, so here it is: I'm still fat.

*Just for the record- I do not keep a personal diary tucked away under my mattress.


Kelly said...

Yeah, lets just say I agree. With all of it.

Christina said...

You go girl. The blogosphere can always use a reminder about common courtesy, I think. It's too easy to get all snarky and horrid just because we can't see each other. I say let's try to leave the online world a nicer place than how we found it. (But then I'm always telling my kids that about their rooms and they rarely listen, so yeah, I guess it's a mom thing to give advice that no one heeds...)

Anonymous said...

Preach it, sister. I have stopped reading a few blogs because I found them offensive, and guess what? They don't bother me now. I guess some just don't, I don't know, have problem solving skills?

rainbowmom said...

I'm glad you posted this. I needed to read it. Thank you.

And guess what? I'm still fat too. I think "the girls" and the front-butt are trying to race to see who can occupy the same space the quickest. It's a constant battle between them, like children fighting, and quite frankly my belt has told me its ready to find a new job because it just cannot handle all the snark. The girls are starting to spread nasty rumors around because of their jealousy of front-butt, and front-butt is attempting to anonymously write comments on the belt. And, it's not the opinion that belt shares with either party so it feels really awkward being stuck in the rolls.

Michelle said...

HA! Front-butt! Love it. Going to steal it and make it my own.

If it does attempt to write anonymous comments about the belt, you know I've got your back. I'll write a post about it.