Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Telling the kids

Well, I bit the bullet and had the Vietnam talk with the kids yesterday. I stopped short of saying we are not getting our baby (I guess either that last bit of hope is a resilient little bugger, or I am just in deep, deep denial), but I tried to make it as clear as I could, in an age-appropriate way, that things aren't looking good, without going into too much detail of all that is going on in Vietnam. I tried to reassure them that if God has a baby on the way for us, he will come no matter what. God cannot be stopped. We just don't know from where. And we don't know when. I reminded them we can keep praying. My voice cracked the whole time and my throat hurt from trying to keep the sobs in, but I managed it. I didn't look Brianna in the face while I talked, because I knew I wouldn't be able to finish if I saw the disappointment in her face. And disappointed she was. She said she was really hoping for and wanting a baby brother who looked like her. It crushed me. I feel as if I'm letting her down. Like I'm the one who screwed this up. I let her get excited and look forward to this, and now I can't deliver on what I promised. All the kids were disappointed, but she seemed to take it the worst.

Also, I find it interesting that we haven't heard from our agency yet about any of this. Not an email, no phone call, nothing. It doesn't really surprise me since they have rarely initiated any communication, but you would think that if there was ever a time to call your clients, this would be it. I find it rather insulting and feel it shows a total lack of interest or concern for the families, but whatever. Maybe I'm just being impatient and too high maintenance (entirely possible) and not giving them a reasonable amount of time. Maybe they just assume everyone has heard about it, and they have nothing additional to tell us. But still... I know this has nothing to do with what I was talking about. Sorry. Just ticked off and venting.


Heather & David said...


I am so sorry you are going through this. My heart is breaking for your family. this has been such a hard journey for so many of us. My prayers are with you that God will lead you down the path to your child (whatever that path may be)

Elaine said...

Your agency should be contacting you. You are right, if ever there were a time . . . but maybe they are so busy fieling calls and emails from those who are contacting them first? I can't imagine having that talk with my kids. It must have been so hard.

Hubbards said...

It told our kids as they each arrived home from school. They were so sweet because they saw how upset their mom was. Our youngest(9yrs old) said you just have to have hope and faith and move on to another place. :) So...that is what we are doing at this time. Back to the researching agencies. We have been less than pleased with our agency. Anyway...just wanted to share with you what our Emilie shared with us. I am praying for all of us!

Tina, KCMO

Mike and Shelley said...


I just wanted to chime in and say I know what you mean. I can't believe our agency has made no effort to contact us. To make matters worse I emailed Elizabeth yesterday morning and she still has not contacted me. Not even a short message to say she knows I am upset but she will answer my questions when she has more time.


Rebecca said...

I wish that I had the words to take all your pain away! I can say that God will bring that sweet boy to you!! Do not lose hope he will be coming!!

stacy said...

What an awful conversation to have to have with your kids.

I think it is inexcusable that you have not heard from your agency yet - at the very least they should have sent an email to the waiting families or something. I didn't hear from mine until last evening and even then I thought their email was lame and inaccurate - but at least I heard something. Even if they don't have answers, they should have been in touch - and to expect that is in no way high maintenance in my mind!

I will sure be hoping for you to find that child that is meant for your family next.

Heidi said...

Yes, you should be hearing from your agency. Ours has been in daily contact, sometimes twice daily when there are two news flashes in one day. They don't have much to say, but they are starting to steer some families toward other countries, if they are interested. Hang in there.

Angel said...

I am so sorry!!! That is awful.:0( I pray you see the plan clearly soon. It is not right or normal that your agency has not kept you informed. How bizarre. Hugs, Angel

Colleen said...

Michelle, I received an email sent to all Vietnam families last week and a personal phone call a few days later from Elizabeth. Have they lost your contact info? I'm sure you were meant to be included! In the email Elizabeth said she would be calling all Vietnam families. The fact that you haven't been contacted must be a mistake. If I were you, I'd give them a ring and say, "Hello, we're still here!"

The whole situation is completely depressing. I'm really sorry we're in the same boat on this.


Michelle said...

Thank you. To clarify, this post was from last Tuesday, written around 12:30- 1:00 am. We received the email you are referring to from WACAP on Tues. afternoon around 4:00 pm. Elizabeth called a few days after that. I have not taken the time to update the blog with any new information about speaking to the agency, but we have talked to her (E.) and are still undecided about what we'll do. I appreciate your concern (as well as the kind comments from all of you! :D). Hugs right back at ya!