Well, I bit the bullet and had the Vietnam talk with the kids yesterday. I stopped short of saying we are not getting our baby (I guess either that last bit of hope is a resilient little bugger, or I am just in deep, deep denial), but I tried to make it as clear as I could, in an age-appropriate way, that things aren't looking good, without going into too much detail of all that is going on in Vietnam. I tried to reassure them that if God has a baby on the way for us, he will come no matter what. God cannot be stopped. We just don't know from where. And we don't know when. I reminded them we can keep praying. My voice cracked the whole time and my throat hurt from trying to keep the sobs in, but I managed it. I didn't look Brianna in the face while I talked, because I knew I wouldn't be able to finish if I saw the disappointment in her face. And disappointed she was. She said she was really hoping for and wanting a baby brother who looked like her. It crushed me. I feel as if I'm letting her down. Like I'm the one who screwed this up. I let her get excited and look forward to this, and now I can't deliver on what I promised. All the kids were disappointed, but she seemed to take it the worst.
Also, I find it interesting that we haven't heard from our agency yet about any of this. Not an email, no phone call, nothing. It doesn't really surprise me since they have rarely initiated any communication, but you would think that if there was ever a time to call your clients, this would be it. I find it rather insulting and feel it shows a total lack of interest or concern for the families, but whatever. Maybe I'm just being impatient and too high maintenance (entirely possible) and not giving them a reasonable amount of time. Maybe they just assume everyone has heard about it, and they have nothing additional to tell us. But still... I know this has nothing to do with what I was talking about. Sorry. Just ticked off and venting.