My Husband the Comedian

Darrell and I really enjoy prescription drug commercials. They're hysterical. They always sound like one of those pretend Saturday Night Live commercials. We just love the way the side effects are quickly rattled off like they're no big deal, when oftentimes they're actually worse than the condition the drug is supposed to treat. At best, it's a trade-off.

I have had RLS since I was a teenager, since before RLS even had a name or a drug prescribed for it. In the past, I've tried to explain it to doctors and pharmacists who treated me like I was nuts and had no idea what I was talking about. For those that don't know, RLS is Restless Leg Syndrome. If you know what it is, then you probably either have it or have to share a bed with someone who does and you know it's absolutely, unbelievably miserable. If you don't know what it is, it's very hard to explain... Basically when it's time to go to bed, or I have to sit still for long periods (like a really long car trip, or plane ride, etc.), my calves move. You can't see it or feel it from the outside. They twitch and quiver deep down inside and there's no way to stop it. I don't mean leg cramps. They continue to move all night, keeping me from getting a sound sleep. It's not really a painful thing, just incredibly uncomfortable, nerve-racking and it drives the sufferer crazy.

In the last couple years, I've been seeing commercials for drugs specifically intended to treat RLS. Here's one we saw last night for a drug called Mirapex:

Side effects include "drowsiness and falling asleep during normal activities like driving." Oh. Sounds ideal for a busy Stay-At-Home, homeschooling Mom! My legs will stop quivering but I'll kill my kids when I take a little snooze on the way to Wal-Mart and cause a head-on crash. Let me think... What to do. What to do. Another side effect is nausea. Well, of course... Constantly feeling ready to vomit is much better than twitching legs. Gosh, it's just so darn tough to decide if I want to try it. Then came a warning to tell your doctor if you experience increased gambling, sexual or other intense urges... Unfortunately, the YouTube clip above cuts off the tail end of the commercial, but right at the end they say something like, "Ask your doctor if Mirapex may be right for you!" As soon as Darrell heard that he goes, "Oh yeah. It's right for you." Smarty pants. Do you suppose he was referring to my need for help with my RLS, or... something else entirely? Hmmm.

Hey, maybe I'll become a gambling addict who falls asleep and/or vomits in the middle of sex???? At least my legs won't be twitching!