Saturday, January 15, 2011

Another funny thing about Mama Kitty

I know...  Another post.  You're sick of me.  But since I was just telling you about the cat, I wanted to share something funny that Olivia said this morning. 

She asked, "Mama, do you think animals like our pets will be in Heaven?" 

I thought we were going to get into a big spiritual conversation, but before I had a chance to say anything she followed it up with, "Because if Mama Kitty goes to Heaven with us, you're going to feel like you went to Hell." 

Bwaahahaha!  She's absolutely right.  Gosh, I love that girl! 

Then this evening, Savannah suggested that maybe it's time to have the cat "put down."  I've thought of that (boy.oh.boy. have I thought of it).  But...  For one thing, it seems wrong to do that to an animal who has lived through being electrocuted, hit by a car, and various other things.  It would be like chopping down one of those giant Sequoya trees- how could you do it to something that's lived that long and been through so much?  I told Savannah that I would really feel bad to put her to sleep just because she's become a nuisance to me.  It just doesn't seem right. 

So Evan said, "Well put her to sleep for being a nuisance to me, then.  I don't have a problem with it." 

I've done such an awesome job raising these loving, compassionate, kind, caring, souls, haven't I?

I also heard from someone who said that all that peeing can be an indication that she's sick, which I didn't know, so I may have to get her to the vet (yeah, like we can afford that right now).  How twisted am I that a part of me is hoping I could have a legitimate reason to put the poor thing to sleep?  I feel guilty just thinking it.  The kids would hate me.  She's older than all but one of my seven children.

And... Tracy left a comment saying they make cat diapers.  Dear Lord, has my life really come to this?  Am I really considering buying diapers for my cat?  God help me, I think I am.  But I will not change a cat's poopy diapers.  How do you even get the stupid thing to stand still or lay down long enough to wipe her bum and change the dipes?   Do you try to make them lay (lie???) on their backs and pull their legs up, like a baby?  I'm trying to picture it in my head right now and it's looking a lot like something you'd see on Funniest Home Videos.  Do they make kitty wipes, too? 

Hmmm... So many things to consider...

Update: This is what Tracy thinks my cat will wear.  She's going to hate you, too, Tracy.  And I'll send her over without her diapers on.


Anonymous said...

I just Googled "cat diapers" for you. I'm such a good friend. They have them on Amazon. And you get free shipping if you buy more than $25 worth! :)

Anonymous said...

LOOK! "Hot Pink Piddle Pants":

Michelle said...

Gee. Thanks, Tracy.

Michelle said...

Hahaha! I looked them up, and this is part of the description:

"These well-made overalls can be machine washed and line dried. Recommended by the Feline Behaviour Clinic at Cornell University, College of Veterinary Medicine, and called "Best Futuristic Pet Product of 2008" by Future-Pets Association, Joybies Piddle Pants(TM) are fashionable and practical problem-solving combined!"

Hilarious! I love the "Fashionable and practical" thing!

Honestly, I think my cat would ask me to put her to sleep if she saw me coming at her with these things.

Michelle said...

I noticed at the bottom of the cat diaper page on Amazon, there is a discussion forum with the question, "Do Atheists own dogs?"

I had to click it. You can't resist something that idiotic. As I skimmed and scrolled, I noticed one of the answers started with, "I am a card-carrying Atheist..." I didn't even read on to see if the person owned a dog, or not. I got stuck on the "card-carrying" part.

My question is this: What does the card look like?

I was never issued a card for my personal affiliation.

Nicki? Do you have a card?

Anonymous said...

I'm just going out on a limb, here, but I think antibiotics for a bladder infection or UTI would be less than cat diapers..:)

Anonymous said...

Ha ha! I do have a card, but that's a long story for people who don't get it. Anyway, I like to think that pee doesn't happen in heaven, so that means it wouldn't be hell. Or something like that. Really, who wants to spend eternity having to run to the loo? Though, if I make it there with my five children, then, well, I'll probably want those bathroom breaks.

Michelle said...

They issue cards to Mormons, too? This is so unfair. I want a card.