Friday, June 27, 2008

A Quick Story and a Meme

I just wanted to get this down before I forget it. I'm always thinking I'll recall the funny things Darrell or the kids say, then two weeks later I'm going, "What was that thing you said that made me laugh so hard the other day? Whatever it was, it sure was funny..."

So anyway... Remember I was telling you guys that Darrell and I have never danced together? I mean, we may have kind of danced in our kitchen for all of two seconds at some point in the past 20 years, if him grabbing me and moving his feet while I look confused and say, "Let me finish dinner, dufus," counts as dancing, but as far as being out in public and actually dancing... NEVER. Not once. Which is my doing, not his.

So... We're at the wedding reception and they call for all the parents to get out on the dance floor. I feel that little flip-floppy thing in my gut that tells me I may vomit at any moment, and Darrell says, "It's okay, we don't have to." But, I said no- I wanted to do this. We go out there and begin stumbling dancing for the first time ever and I'm trying to turn it into a romantic thing. You know, looking up lovingly into his eyes and all that crap, because:
  1. This really did feel like a romantic moment
  2. (and, more truthfully) The photographer was right next to us, watching for a good shot
So, Darrell looks back down at me, into the most adoring, loving, romantic face I can muster, and says, "Did Hell just freeze over? Somebody better go check." My head went back as I busted out laughing and I'm pretty sure that's when the photographer snapped his shot. Great.

So onto another topic. Can you tell I like these goofy Internet tag games? I like reading them to pick up trivial, but interesting little nuggets about my favorite bloggers, and apparently I like to do them, too. I doubt anyone even reads mine- since I'm so forthright with information about my undergarments, how much I sweat, etc., etc., how much more could anyone possibly want to know about me? But it's my blog so I can meme if I want to... This one came from Anne's blog, and I'm going to do the same thing she did and tag anyone who reads this and wants to play. All you have to do is leave me a comment, telling me you did it, so I can go read yours! Come on, be nice and play with me!

What is in the back of your car? My kids sit back there, so I am afraid to look.

What color is your toothbrush? Purple

Name one person who made you smile today. Any one of my kids

What were you doing at 8:00 a.m.? Looking at my clock while still in bed and trying to become coherent. It's Summertime, baby.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Helping Olivia choose her ensemble for VBS tonight. These are very big decisions, you know.

What is your favorite candy? Anything chocolate, or See's Peanut Brittle

What is the last thing you said aloud? I just answered Michael's question about the weather today- isolated T-storms.

What is the best ice cream flavor? It's a tie between Jamocha Almond Fudge and Pistachio Almond

What is the last thing you had to drink? Coffee, which I will drink right up until lunch

What are you wearing right now? Capris and a t shirt

What is the last thing you ate? A chocolate wafer (or 6) for breakfast

Have you bought any new clothes this week? Not this week, but I did two weeks ago. Three shirts. Needed something other than my standard uniform of t-shirts.

When was the last time you ran? May 10th. I know that because that was the night of the tornado, and we ran into that nice stranger's house. It takes a tornado to make me run. Nothing else will do it.

What was the last sporting event you watched? Tucker's baseball game last night

Do you have a tan? Yes, it comes in a can. I am a cadaver.

Do you take vitamins daily? No. I go on very temporary health kicks, when I will take them daily for about 3 days. Then I'm done and I switch to MMs.

Do you go to church? Yes

Do you like Chinese food more than pizza? Ummmm... Too hard to decide. I love both.

Do you drink your soda with a straw? Only if I am eating out.

Are you someone's best friend? I think I am... I hope.

What are you doing tomorrow? So far, the main item on the agenda is laundry... What other exciting things will the day bring, I wonder? Oh, maybe cleaning a toilet, or... gee, I'll just let the magic unfold as it happens.

Where is your dad? Heaven

Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes, but I normally save it for parties. It used to happen accidentally back in my drinking days.

Do you have a maid service clean your home? Yes. Of course I do. You can't keep up with a family of 8 by yourself. The maids' names are, Alex, Michael, Evan, Tucker, Olivia, and Brianna. I make them all dress like Alice from Brady Bunch.

Do you have a favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? I've recently become a Crocs convert after resisting the hideously ugly, evil things for years. I've gone over to the dark side, and I love them.

What color is your car? Disco Queen Gold

How do you like your popcorn? Movie popcorn with EXTRA butter.

How did you get your worst scar? Being gutted like a fish for four c-sections.

Look to your left. What do you see? A picture of my kids when Olivia was a baby. The boys all look so sweet. What the heck happened?

What color is your watch? Silver with a pink face, but I don't wear it. Anything tight around my wrists makes me feel like I can't breathe. It's weird, I know. Claustrophobia.

What do you think of when you think of Australia? "Maybe the dingo ate your baby."

Do you use chap stick? Sometimes. Paula's Choice brand is the best. BTW- Paula's Choice skincare ROCKS! It has totally improved my crappy skin and it's all I will use now.

Do you have a dog? Yes, and I love every smelly, vomiting inch of him- Buddy the bulldog. My beautiful boy.

Last person you talked to on the phone? Alex- which is never one of my favorite things to do because he can't be nice to me on the phone.

Have you met anyone famous? Not super famous. But I have met several people in the entertainment industry. And once, when I was a teenager, my mom and I went to an art fair in Kansas City and passed by Richard Simmons, who was fairly famous at that time. Boy, was he ever a prissy little diva. Very rude little man. And unbelievably tan.

Any plans today? Tucker and I have some errands to run, then the kids have VBS tonight with a pool party after.

How many states have you lived in? Two. I think... Yes. MO and KS

Do you dye your hair? Oh, yeah. I bet I'm mostly gray. I dunno for sure- I just keep covering that crap up.

Do you like cats? No, no, no, no, and no. I have one. She's seventeen freakin' years old, and will not die. She's intentionally hanging in there until I die first. I just know that's what she's doing. She's probably going to succeed, too. And she will dance on my grave.


Lina said...

You always make me laugh. I will join in the fun some time this weekend. I love the comment about the cat - my daycare lady used to have a cat that was 19 years old. That poor thing was nearly blind and mostly deaf - it seriously looked like the walking dead. Something you would see in your nightmares. The kids left it alone, probably out of fear.

Miles' Mama said...

Loved your meme answers and totally agree that M&M's win over vitamins any day!

Lina said...

Dog & Cat diaries...had to share.

Dog Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about
what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously thick headed. The bird
must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.