Last night I was watching TV with Tuck, Olivia, and Brianna, when a commercial came on for, um... certain personal Ladies Products. The kind that are needed every 30 days, or so... Are we all on the same page?
In all my years of parenting boys, I have never, ever had one of them ask me about those commercials. Never. When they help unload groceries, they have never, ever asked what certain boxes and packages are for. They just leave those items in the Walmart sack for me to deal with as I see fit. It's as if God instills in every male an innate desire not to know certain things about the complicated workings of the female body. They seem to just know that some questions are better left unasked. But not Tucker. No, sir.
During the commercial last night, Tuck said, "So what are those things for, anyway?"
Caught off guard and trying to deflect the bullet to the best of my abilities, I calmly answered, "Oh, those are just for grown-up women. You wouldn't have any interest in them."
Not good enough, people.
Tuck replied with, "Yeah, but I mean, what do they do?"
I, with years and years of parenting wisdom to guide me, carefully said, "Ummm. Well. They, uhhhhh..."
Tuck interrupts with, "Are they for your feet? Because they look kind of like those Dr. Scholl's things."
"No," I say. "They're not for feet. They're... um....uhhhhhh..."
"Oh, look! I want to see this movie," Tuck said.
Thank God. Another commercial came on.
But I'm still trying to figure out what Tampax and Dr. Scholl's products have in common.