Friday, October 9, 2009

And you thought you'd gotten rid of me...

No such luck. I'm still here.

Hey, guys. Long time, no blog. We've been crazy-busy. First, I have to confess I'm lame because I received the Honest Scrap award from the lovely Lina weeks ago and I never got around to posting about it. Thank you, Lina! And sorry.

Here's what I was supposed to do:
1. Choose 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
2. Show the 7 winners’ names and links on your blog and tell them they won the award.
3. List at least 10 honest things about yourself

Okay... Thinking of seven will be easy, but finding seven who haven't already gotten the award will be almost impossible so I'm just listing whoever I please. If you've won this already, don't feel obligated to mention it on your blog.

In no particular order:
Looking For George ( The Racy Mormon in motorcycle boots)
My Minivan Rocks
Da Bees Knees (the aforementioned Lovely Lina's blog)
Mrs. Broccoli Guy
Cheers Y'all
Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds
Dreams Do Come True
Second Generation
Woopsie. That's more than seven. I guess I was going for ten. I got distracted.

My ten honest things:
1) My house is a constant disaster zone. I never keep it clean anymore, and honestly- I've given up even trying. At some point I realized that no amount of effort on my part would ever be enough so I just stopped caring. That's not completely accurate. I must care, because I'm horribly embarrassed if someone comes over and sees how we live. I just don't care enough to do anything about it, I guess. The little bit that gets done these days is done by the kids. June Cleaver I ain't.
2) This one is embarrassing. I have a fear strong dislike of clowns. I don't like saying I'm afraid of them because I won't run away screaming or anything if one is around, but I will avoid clowns like the plague. I could do a whole post on clowns. They cannot be trusted. Evil alcoholics with big shoes- the whole bunch. Same goes for mimes. Mimes are just clowns with a slightly better fashion sense. I wish they'd all remain trapped in that stupid box they're always trying to escape from.
3) My feelings for most dolls are virtually the same as my feelings for clowns. Dolls give me the creeps. I'm nuts.
4) I vaguely remember the days when I was half-way smart. I miss those days. I feel stupid. I feel like I've gotten so lost in Mommyville and House Frau City that I'm out of the loop on... well, everything, and can no longer carry on an intelligent conversation about... well, anything.
5) I never, ever, ever look at myself and feel remotely pleased by what I see looking back at me. I truly, honestly, fervently hate the way I look. And I hate that I hate the way I look. I wish I had more confidence in myself. I love the way confident women carry themselves. You can see it in the way they move that they feel good about themselves. I want that. I wish I could find one feature to appreciate- one thing I could call "pretty," but there isn't one. I don't know if it's the weight, or just my rasty old face, but I don't see anything pretty. I'll get on these kicks where I'll splurge on several pairs of pretty new shoes or a bunch of new makeup- trying to make myself feel good. I'll put it all on, then I realize I'm looking at the same old pig-just in lipstick... and awesome shoes.
6) I wish I would have finished college. I don't regret having my babies (never- not even for a second), but I do regret not using my mind while I had one.
7) I really miss my dad.
8) I feel like "Real Life" is passing me by and I'm missing my chance to live it. I envy those ditsy, irresponsible, free-spirit types who embrace life and do whatever fun thing they want to do at any given moment. Wouldn't it be great to live that way? These days I feel that fun is a luxury I can barely afford and I get so overwhelmed by all that I have to do that I wind up doing nothing.
9) I have a nervous habit that drives me insane. I pick at my cuticles and the skin around my fingernails to the point of bleeding. I hate that. How gross.
10) I expect way too much from myself. Waaay. I'm a horrible perfectionist. Isn't that funny? A lazy perfectionist?!? HA! I want to live in a perfect house but I won't get off my lazy butt to clean it! Hil-ar-eeee-ous.

Wow. These were a bit of a downer. Certainly not what I intended.

Onto other things... We went on a short vacation to the lake. It was a lot of fun, but Mike and Alex didn't get to come with us, so I was missing them. Sam loved being outside. We took nature walks with him in the sling and he was in heaven. We took him down to the water and he meowed at the ducks. He barks or meows. No quacks yet, so the ducks got a meow.

Shortly after coming home, we took a field trip to the KC zoo and that was a great time with the little kids, too. The weather was perfect so the animals were really active and the kids got to see a lot of behaviors you usually don't get to see in the summer when the animals are just laying around like they're half-dead. Also got to stop at my all-time favorite place on earth to eat- Dixon's Chili. It's a dumpy, greasy dive and I love it. And it always reminds me of my dad. If you're in Kansas City, you have to give it a try. I'll try to get some pictures up of the kids from our recent adventures soon.

Tomorrow, I have the joyful task of going in to get my jumblies smashed in a vise. My favorite time of year- mammogram time. You did know I was talking about a mammogram, right? I also hope to get some news soon on my other fun health stuff. I'll keep you posted. Because I know you're just dying to know.


Tami said...

I know this is pathetic, but I keep forgetting that you live in Kansas too! :) We haven't been to the KC zoo yet, but don't live too far away so there really is no excuse! :)

Nancy said...

I swear we are related, with the exception of the clown and doll dislike. Otherwise, you described me in your honest scrap. Hope all health news is good news, been thinking of you.

Elaine said...

Thaks for the nomination! And can I tell you how much, just how very, very much I relate to umm. . . wich numbers where they? Oh, 4, 5, 8, 9, and 10. Except I don't pick my cuticles. My nervous habit is different, but the same. But number 8? Oh, number 8! I so relate to that one.

Anonymous said...

I can relate to all of these, except the clowns and dolls....they don't bother me. #1 is me to a tee! I do the cuticle thing too.....I thought I was the only one! Please, please, please stop being so hard on yourself though! I think you're great!

Deb Harrop
who also lives in Kansas

Lina said...

I too can totally relate to #8...I sometimes feel like I am going to wake up and be 80 and not have done anything I always thought I would do with my life. I think with kids, they always come first...and I keep thinking someday I'd like to do this or someday I'd like to go there...when the kids are older I'm going to this or that and maybe that day will never come.

You're not alone in those thoughts...I wish I had concentrated on college right away too...I wonder what I could have done with my life if I had. Of course I don't regret the path I am on...and I wouldn't change a thing because all of it has led me to my children, but I can still wonder about what could have been.


metaphase said...

Glad to "hear" from you again. I also hate clown and mimes- they're just wierd people. And? I did finish college and guess what? I still wipe snotty noses and dirty behinds all day. So don't feel too bad b/c we're just the same except I can tell you the molecular structure of the poop I clean up. Yes, all your points are so relatable