Bringing Blogging Back

You know what I've decided?  I've decided that I, Michelle, Blogger Extraordinaire, am going to put those little electric paddle shocker thingies upon the lifeless chest of this blog and crank them up to... whatever level doctors crank them up to (is it, like, 4?  A level 4?  Or 500?  I don't know)... to zap...  to jump start... 

Dang.  That metaphor sounded so good in my head.  I want to bring my blog back from the dead, is what I'm trying to say.  And not just my blog, all of our blogs.  Remember how fun it used to be, guys?  Back in the days before Facebook and Twitter took over our lives?  I would read your blog and you'd read mine and we'd all leave comments and the sun was shining and birds were singing and everyone was so, so happy.  Remember that? 

And then Dark Overlord Zuckerberg came along with his fancy-pants, social networking site and we all fell under his spell.  It was as easy as distracting Michelle, Blogger Extraordinaire, with a shiny object. 

"Oh, this is better," we thought, "We can see what everyone is doing all the time.  It'll be quicker and easier to keep up with each other, blah blah blah..."  And we were sucked in.  And the overlord made 70 trazillion dollars. 

But it wasn't better.  No, it was not.  FB and Twitter took away our abilities to communicate in complete, grammatically correct thoughts.  Remember grammar, guys?  Wasn't it nice? 

Instead of taking a small thought or incident and turning it into a carefully crafted story about our lives- full of the touching, humorous, quirky, heartbreaking and mundane details that make our families and ourselves unique and interesting- we now take big thoughts and happenings and condense them down into little blurbs here and there.  It's too hard to fit touching, humorous, quirky and heartbreaking into a little blurb, and so...  The mundane took over.  We traded the art of storytelling for speed and convenience. 

And now what?   We have our speed and convenience, yes.  We also have 231 'friends' from all the various factions of our lives plunked into one space and we don't even want to talk to most of them.  So we censor ourselves more now than we did in our blogs, don't you think?  At least in some ways?  On FB, we may have felt more comfortable to reveal our kids' 'real' names, the faces of our families (and, for some of us, our drunken, half-naked exploits), or our exact locations but still...  With our blogs, we felt freer to speak even though our posts were thrown out into this vast neighborhood of strangers.  At least I did.  There are things I'd say to you guys that I'd never say if I knew my next door neighbor was reading (because I don't like her).  I know that's goofy logic, but so be it.  FB makes me feel... stifled.  Yes, stifled.  It stifles the creative genius that I know is buried somewhere deep in my soul, just waiting for Mark Zuckerberg to go broke so it can burst forth.

We're so busy we barely find time to update our FB statuses and we wonder how we ever found the time to blog in the first place.  We didn't have the time.  We made the time.  Because it was fun.  And it was worth it.  Think about this...  Has Facebook or Twitter really helped you gain more time in your day?  Do you spend any less time on the computer now than you did when you blogged/read blogs regularly?  Didn't one just replace the other?  So, then, if you have time for FB, you DO have time to blog.  Right?  And read blogs.  Especially mine.  Since, as you've always known, I am what matters most to me. ;P

Okay, then.  It's agreed.  We're all going to participate in my I'm Bringing Blogging Back campaign, right?  If you agree, this is what I want you to do:

1. Make the commitment: Agree to update your own blog at least once a month (You can do it!  I have faith in you!) and choose at least one blog to read, or return to reading, once a month (You do not have to state which blog you're choosing, but come on...  it will be mine, obviously.  Technically, however, you're allowed to read someone else's... I guess). 
2. Spread the word: Write a post telling your readers about the "I'm Bringing Blogging Back" campaign and ask them to join you. Give them these 'rules' and ask that they share them on their own blogs (this is starting to sound like an Amway kind of thing or chain letter, but it's not. I promise. I won't ask anyone to send me a dollar, or buy crap). You can link to this post if you'd like, or just tell them in your own words.
3. Let me know: Leave me a comment saying, "Yes, Michelle, I'm with you!  I'm Bringing Blogging Back," and link to your post about it.  Actually, I don't give two flips how you say it-  you can just leave a comment saying "OK, I posted about it," or even just "I'm in," "Me, too," or whatever.  The important thing is leave a comment letting me know you're in and link to your post.  If you don't have your own blog, but will commit to being a faithful reader, just leave a comment saying so (Anyone who comments on this post will be added to my blog roll, if you're not there already...  Unless you don't want to be listed).
4. Buy the official "I'm Bringing Blogging Back" t-shirt for only $34.95 at... HA!  No, I'm totally kidding.

I know some of you haven't allowed your blogs to flop on the ground like a dead fish, gasping and quietly dying... and good for you! You've done better than most of us. So you don't need to write more, but you need more readers!  Yes? 

And the rest of you? Tsk, tsk, tsk... I'm wagging my finger. At you.  And that's a bad thing.  You should feel chastised and slightly ashamed right now.  You know you miss blogging.  Admit it.  You do.  Your blog is whispering your name right now.  Hear it? "Hey, (insert your name here), I miss you.  Please, please come back to me."

So... What say you?  We can do this.  Together, we can revive the (almost) lost art of blogging.  I have a great feeling about it.  It's at least gotta go better than my failed campaign last year to bring sexy back.  That one had a few key problems right from the get go, which I really should have foreseen.  Flabby arm fat, for example.  Yeah, that's not so good for the sexiness.  Chin hairs...  Sagging jumblies...  That campaign was not as well thought out as this campaign.  But Michelle Bachmann was my campaign manager, so... You know.

Come on, you guys! Who's with me?  Don't leave me hangin.'