Uh-Oh...

I guess you could say I did a little shopping yesterday... No, that's not quite right. It wasn't a little shopping. I'm not sure what to call it. It wasn't even a shopping spree... It was more like a shopping bender... No... I committed a full-on shopping assault- a shopping blitzkrieg, maybe? Closer, but no... What is a sudden, passionate, fervent outburst of unbridled shopping called? A shopping orgy? Can it be an orgy if only one person is involved? If that one person is doing the shopping of four normal humans, can it then be classified as a shopping orgy?

Let's see- 40 schmillion dollars later...
Car seat- Check
Stroller- Check and Check (actually two strollers- a big one and an umbrella one)
Baby monitor- Check
Baby clothes... Um, yeah- Check, Check, Check, Check and... Oh, Crap... Check.

This doesn't even begin to cover it, but I couldn't get it all into one shot.

I woke up yesterday morning and my first thoughts were swirling around our baby. I don't recall dreaming about him- I just woke up with him on my mind, and feeling absolutely, 100%, completely, positively sure (a great amount of certainty is what I would be indicating, here) that our referral is just around the corner and we're getting a boy. The feeling was incredibly strong. More like a knowledge than a hunch. I felt giddy and joyful and hopeful- a very nice way to wake up. I don't know why I felt this way and I'm not suggesting I was having a psychic moment or anything freaky like that. But, definitely one of those unmistakable Mom Moments- hopefully a strong case of mother's intuition (wouldn't it be awesome if it turned out to be right?). Hence, the boy clothes (and I got monkeys, Heather).Obviously, every baby boy needs a tiny surfer dude outfit. Why do they even make these? How many babies really need swimming trunks? It was cute though, and 50% off, so... there you have it. Besides, he's coming from a beachy place, so he must have the appropriate attire, right?
AND... Just in case my radar is off:
Obviously, one gender's clothes will have to be returned. Which will be a huge hassle, what with looking for receipts that have long since flown the coop by the time I have to find them again. Then I will have to exchange 89.9% of the clothes I'd wanted to keep for different sizes, I'll bet, and they won't have the same outfit in the size I need anymore, so I'll be all disappointed, like, "Geez, this blows." Then, while I'm standing there feeling like the world is about to end and all that, I will see 25 more outfits and buy those, too (I'm sorry Darrell, but I'm just being honest- you know it's gonna go down that way, so let's just accept the things we cannot change, hon).

So, yeah... This was a really smart thing to do.

I don't know how this happened. I've been so restrained; so good. I bought a crib and a few sheets back in January, and then I stopped. I waited. I was going to keep waiting. One minute, I was totally under control and the next thing I knew... Oh, crap.

There's still a very small voice in the back of my mind, whispering things like:
"What? Are you completely NUTS, woman?
What if this adoption doesn't work out?
Don't get your hopes up too high.
You'll be heartbroken if something goes wrong.
How will you look at all those little outfits, knowing there will be no baby to wear them?
How will you stand there at the Macy's cash register and hand each thing over to the cashier without bursting into tears (or flames... or worse... is there worse?)?"

I keep shutting her up by stuffing Dove milk chocolate squares (yes, we had to upgrade from M&M's. Desperate times, and what not) and Double Stuff in her mouth. She thinks she's the lone voice of reason, but to her I say, "You're just the voice of fatness. Have a cookie."

But, you know... She's right.

I will be heartbroken.

Please, God. Let it work out this time. Bring my Sam home soon.

Sometimes, it skips a generation...

The young lady singing at the beginning of this is MY NIECE (on my birth family's side)! Truthfully, I barely know her. She wouldn't know me if I walked right up and bit her- which, you know... would be just weird and uncalled for. However, I still have to brag because I can't believe that talent, long legs, and being thin are all embedded in my DNA somewhere... I must have buried those genes under all the chocolate?

First Gift

Well, our dossier is on its way! It went out yesterday morning, after we gathered the kids together and prayed over it. I hope it's all assembled correctly and there's nothing found wrong with it that could cause another delay.

Also yesterday, Sam (or whoever-lol) received his/her first gift. A handmade blankie and little outfit from my birth mother. Isn't it cute?!
Do you guys remember that story I told you about the first Christmas after meeting my birth mother when we bought each other the same present? We must have some weird mind-meld because I was just looking at this exact same outfit the other day- I just love the little ducky feet.

Oh my gosh, y'all... I'm having a baby!

Good News!

I got a call this morning from our agency wanting us to send our dossier in now instead of waiting for our I171-h to get here, like we were originally supposed to do. There are 2 families ahead of us, but they are requesting girls. There are 3 birth mothers in the program who will all be delivering pretty soon and if a baby boy is born, we jump ahead in line. How exciting is that? I'm running around like a crazy lady getting all the copies of the dossier gathered up to send out today. I am over-the-moon-excited!

Just the other night, my wonderful boyfriend took me out on a date. He was trying to be super-romantic, so he took me to Babies R Us (Seriously- I thought it was very romantic. He doesn't like shopping, especially if I'm obsessing over baby things, so he totally did it just to make me happy, and even acted interested in looking at stuff).

We'd been in the store for quite a while, looking around at all the different things we're going to need. Somewhere around the stroller aisle, Darrell stopped dead in his tracks. I turned around to look at him and he's got this look on his face that I can't quite identify.

Then, all calm and quiet-like, he says, "We're having a baaay-beeee." It was so funny the way he said it. That weird look on his face was one of shock and sudden realization.

I said, "You just now figured that out, did ya?" Lol. He's so cute. He'd better adjust to the news pretty soon, I guess- since it looks like it's going to happen sooner rather than later. Oh my goodness! I have to say that again... Sooner.Rather.Than.Later. I can't believe it's really happening.

That's how it is with adoption, isn't it? You get so accustomed to delays and hassles and disappointments, that you just expect they will always be there- somewhere along the line, you forget there really will be a child at the end of all this crap you've gone through.

Back to the topic of names really quick, before I go back to scurrying around like a loon... Some of you asked me to tell you what my favorite girls' name is- the one my whole family hates and mocks me for. Do you think I'm nuts? Why would I open myself up to more ridicule? From all 3 of my readers- ha!

No, you guys are always so nice to me, and I know you wouldn't say anything (too) awfully mean, but still... I'm embarrassed to tell. So, I'll drop you a few breadcrumbs and let you figure it out. If you do, good for you- but please don't make fun of me, at least don't be too mean about it. Remember, I get plenty of crud over this at home! It's as if I suggested we name our child "Excrement," or something. If you don't figure it out- sorry, darlin,' I guess you're out of luck.

The most horrible name in the universe (according to my family, at least) has the following things in common:

A pope, a princess, a citrus fruit, a song, a series of children's books, and Winston Churchill.

It's old-fashioned, but kinda funky, nerdy, quirky and cool all at the same time (just like me- except for the cool part)- and certainly not suffering from overuse. It will not spark a new cheerleader naming trend anytime soon. It has not cracked the top 1000 in popularity since the 1950's. I'd be willing to bet you don't know someone with this name. Unless it's a dead aunt, or something. That's all I'm going to tell you, other than I adore the name, even if I'm the only one- and oh how I wish, I wish, I wish I could use it.