Research-China; Brian Stuy

I wanted to make you aware of a link I've added on the side (scroll down to "Other Interesting Links"). It's getting pretty "full" over there, especially after combining two sidebars into one, and I don't want a good link to get lost in the crowd. For those of you who have also adopted previously from China, or have a friend/family member who has adopted from China and you'd like to understand more about the culture as it pertains to abandonment and adoptions, you need to know about Brian Stuy and Research-China.org. Brian is a China AP. I've linked to his blog, but from there you can also go to his website. The blog has all kinds of educational nuggets about China (like "Why Girls Are Abandoned in China," and "The Other Mother," about our babies' foster mothers). Brian has done more research regarding China adoptions than anyone else I've heard about. I don't always agree with everything he says, but he provides much-needed information and services. We used him to track down our daughter's finding ad for us; a service he provides for a reasonable fee (a "finding ad," is a classified ad which must be placed in a newspaper, for each baby found before the child becomes eligible for adoption. This offers birth family an opportunity to come forward. Sometimes the ads include photos of the child at a very young age, which can be an important keepsake for both parent and child. Something to include in a lifebook or to save for the child when she's older, as it may be one of only a few links to her life in China. Ours was a text only ad unfortunately, but we received a blown up copy of the ad itself, which was translated for us, and a copy of the front page of the newspaper it appeared in). He has also visited many provinces and finding sites and taken photographs for families, which can be purchased on his site. His blog and website are great resources. Check it out if you're interested. I don't believe he has worked in all of China's provinces, and his services are limited to China only (not VN). There are other sites and organizations providing similar services, such as China Born Kids, but I've only personally used Brian. If any of you have had good experiences with China Born Kids, or others to share, let me know and I'll post those links.

BTW- Thank you for the birthday wishes! I had a great day. I got the bunny slippers I've had my eye on, and I say getting old is worth it if bunny slippers are involved. We went to a theme park over the weekend and had a lot of fun. My 7 y.o. daughter wanted me to ride a roller coaster with her, which isn't exactly a "kiddie ride," but it's pretty tame and very kid friendly. Two of my older sons, Mike (15) and Ev (13), wanted to ride too, which I thought was odd. This particular ride is sooo not scary, and at their ages, it's all about the thrill factor. What I was forgetting is that a teenage boy's whole reason for getting out of bed every day is to cause embarrassment to his mother (and also to look at pretty girls, but mostly the first thing...). We got on the ride, right up front, with my daughter next to me, and Mike and Ev right behind us. Almost as soon as it took off, they started screaming (and I mean blood-curdling, horror movie, I'm-being-murdered types of screams), "AAAAWWWWW! MMOMMMMMY, I'M SCAAAAAAAARED, MOMMY! AAAAHHHHWWWWWWWW, MOMMMMY, PLEASE, GOD HELLLLP US! AAAWWWWWW! I CAN'T DO THIS! I WANNA GET OFFFFF, MAW-HAW-HAWMMY! Complete with fake sobbing and everything. It was so incredibly embarrassing, that I couldn't help being impressed by their level of commitment and the quality of their performances. They kept it up through the whole ride. I was embarrassed to be associated with such complete imbeciles. but kind of proud for giving birth to such funny imbeciles at the same time. I laughed so hard, I couldn't breathe. Evan also resorted to his usual tactics of walking directly behind me, doing something really silly and stupid (you know- like spazzy dancing, trying to look like an escapee from the state hospital, or walking around with crossed eyes... that kind of thing), to further the embarrassment for poor old mom. They made sure it was a birthday to remember. Gosh, I love those dorks! They keep me laughing or screaming- one or the other- all the time.

41

I've changed things around a little bit (again). I'm not one to stick with the same old thing for long. Sorry. I'm a pink kind of girl. Let me know what you think, unless you hate it, then keep it to yourself- lol!

I'll be 41 flippin' years old tomorrow... 41. Yikes. I'm officially "In My Forties" (an expression I suddenly do not care for, BTW).

In honor of this momentous occasion, here are 41 things I recall about my childhood:

1. Marathon Bars (best candy bars ever made)
2. Walking down to the 7/11 for Slurpees and candy cigarettes by myself, and riding my bike all over the neighborhood, because fear of child abductions wasn't a big thing yet.
3. My Mrs. Beasley doll
4. The Waltons (Goodnight, John Boy!)
5. Herbie movies
6. Abba (...dig it, the dancing queen... oh yeah!)
7. Mork from Ork and his rainbow suspenders (yes, I had some)
8. Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman
9. Wonder Woman
10. My dad's Volkswagon Beetle, and Ford Pinto

11. Rotary phones (And having the phone company come out to install the phone!)

12. Our first remote control

13. The Hardy Boys (Shaun Cassidy and Parker Stevenson... dreamy)

14. Nancy Drew

15. Our first microwave oven

16. Orange carpeting and drapes

17. NO cell phones. NONE. No personal computers, either. Not even at school.

18. Smells... The smell of Autumn, playing outside and jumping in the leaves, the smell of new school supplies on the first day of school, the smell of my dad getting ready for work.

19. Making snowmen, and snow ice cream

20. "Lilt" home perms (given to me by my mom)

21. Jaws (that head popping out was soooo scary)

22. KC and the Sunshine Band (he was sooo cute!)

23. Dorothy Hamill (and her haircut... which I had and I looked awesome)

24. Carrying a huge comb or afro pick in your back pocket at all times, whether or not you actually had an afro.

25. Vietnam (as in the war, not adoption)

26. Bellbottoms (the originals)

27. High-waisted jeans

28. Feathered hair (just like Farrah's, which I also had and looked awesome)

29. Movie tickets were 75 cents.

30. My first kiss in 3rd grade with Jeffrey Price. I was supposed to kiss him at recess. I was scared. He got tired of waiting and started to run off, so the kiss barely grazed the top of his ear. Very romantic.

31. The first time Nike tennis shoes became a fad. They were white with your choice of a royal blue or red swoosh.

32. Friday nights at the roller rink

33. Saturday Night Fever

34. The Bee Gees (and their little brother Andy Gibb... Oh my gosh- how cute was that guy? I was seriously in love. He was my first concert)

35. Saturday Night Live (back when it was funny)

36. Richard Nixon and Watergate (I didn't get what was going on)

37. Seemingly frequent news clips of Gerald Ford falling down

38. The Village People (YMCA... I did not know they were gay... Seriously)

39. Climbing trees and pretending to be "Swiss Family Robinson"

40. The birth of MTV, in my teens. They played music back then (the same videos over and over, in fact)

41. I recall my mother's 40th birthday quite clearly. I was scared she'd die soon, because 40 was old... Doesn't seem so old now.

Adorable Video

A lot of exciting things are happening in the blog world, guys. In the midst of the new changes with the I600 and all the worries, hassles, and delays it's created, and all of our collective troubles with dossiers, agencies, referrals, etc., etc... There are families being born! A couple of bloggers I follow are in VN right now picking up their children. Go check out Jeff and Nancy's blog to see their precious new baby girl. Make sure you look at the "Car Ride" video in the top left corner! Her sweet little smile and the interaction with her new mommy will make your day. Too cute! Also, Sue and Gary's blog shows pictures with their beautiful new daughter, Sara. They're still waiting for their G&R- I hope it happens for them soon. For those of us waiting, I think it feels like a burst of fresh hope to get to see these families' long-awaited dreams coming true.
(I've been told there are waiting PAPs who take offense at being made to listen to the good news of others. I've heard of people receiving nasty, hurtful emails after sharing their news of a referral or travel date online. I don't understand this. I really don't. I guess these people feel the pain of their own troubles and waiting is so great, they shouldn't have to hear about other families' waits coming to an end? It's like having their noses rubbed in it, I guess? I don't know. If things are going badly for one person, should they go badly for everyone to make it more fair? I definitely understand that when your heart is breaking, it IS hard to hear about everyone else's good fortune, but sending out hateful emails- trying to make someone feel guilty for their happiness? Come on! Should people with good news to share really have to stifle it just because there will be others who don't have good news? To me, I think it's selfish to be so focused on one's own sorrows that you can't sincerely share in the joys of others. Isn't that what children do- focus only on how the world revolves around them? As soon-to-be parents, shouldn't we try to overcome our own childish ways? Anyway, I won't open that can of worms or get sidetracked with one of my rants- I'll just say I think seeing and hearing these happy stories is good for all of us. Instead of viewing it as a painful reminder of what I don't have, I choose to view it as a glimpse of what's in store for me. We get to take a moment to stop thinking about ourselves and share in the joy of seeing someone become a family! How awesome is that?)

I'm grateful that these families have chosen to allow us into these personal moments and let us share in their happiness! Thank you! I'm thrilled for you guys and hope you'll be back home soon with your little ones. Congratulations, and blessings to you! And to those of us stuck in limbo, waiting- Our turns are coming. Hang in there!

National Candy Day

HAPPY NATIONAL CANDY DAY, EVERYONE!

Okay, so I'm thinkin'... God obviously wants parents to eat most of their kids' candy from last night, right? Surely He must. It's what any truly responsible parent would do, purely out of love and concern for the children's health and teeth, yes? And this is not to toot my own horn, but I do have that kind of self-sacrificial love for my kids. Without a thought for myself, I will accept the burden of plunging into those bags of candy, and give it everything I've got. I will commit to completing this task, ignoring my own selfish desires to remain on my diet. My overwhelming cravings for plain, dry, tasteless chicken breasts, grapes, yet another salad, and 4 gallons of water will just have to wait one more day... I'm just that kind of mom.

Okay, okay... Before I get a comment from some sweet, maternal type (yes, that would be you, Anne) encouraging me to stick to my guns and not put myself into a sugar coma , I'll admit I'm just kidding. I ate a handful of M&Ms last night and that was it (of course, *handful* is a relative term). In fact, my daughter has already offered me M&Ms this morning, and I politely refused. I'm being a good girl, Anne. How 'bout you?